I just saw a photo of a cider press in Usksider's blog, and it brought to mind the time I tried to make cider when I lived in Kent.

We had a big garden with about 20 fruit trees down the bottom, mostly apple, with a few pears and plums. The first year we were there we had more apples than we could possibly use or give away to friends, so we tried selling the surplus at the front gate, which helped to get rid of some of them, as well as boosting the finances a bit, but we still had loads left that we couldn't shift.

Being a hard up, and, of necessity, economical lass, I pondered on this state of affairs,......... Ping :idea:....... I came up with this Brilliant idea: .... I'd turn the rest into cider!

Went to the library, and got a book out. Of course, I didn't have any of the necessary equipment, but I've never been one to let such trifling problems halt me in my tracks.

First thing I had to do, apparently, was squash the apples into a pulp.....So I cut them into bits, and tried bashing them with a rolling-pin. Didn't work! The bits just flew all over the kitchen, like popcorn does when you forget to put the lid on the pan. Plan B: Put the bits in a plastic bag first, then bash them. That didn't work either, the bag burst and the bits shot up to the ceiling, and not all of them came back down. Undaunted, I thought "tread it like grapes then" so I grabbed the washing-up bowl and gave it a good scrub, and put some in that, then washed my feet well, put the bowl on the floor and stomped. Have you any idea what it feels like stomping barefoot on a load of bits of apple? Take it from me - YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW:!: Didn't work very well either, my feet weren't hard enough. Stronger feet were obviously going to be the answer then, so out came the Wellies, and they got a good scrubbing with some sterilising solution, then I pulled them on, and jumped up and down in the washing-up bowl. Success!! I started to get some actual pulp. Very hard work though, all that stamping, and jumping.

At that point in the proceedings my next door neighbour wandered in, having been let in by one of the children, who just opened the door and announced "Mum's in the kitchen" then high-tailed it before I could save my face. :oops::oops: "Susie dear, why are you jumping up and down in the washing up bowl with your Wellies on?" - "I'm treading apples" - "I think you're a little bit confused sweetheart, it's grapes you do that to. Why don't I make you a nice cup of tea, while you have a little rest?" I tried to explain - really I did, but I don't think she quite believed that I hadn't suffered a nervous breakdown.

Anyways, having got my apple pulp, the next thing the book said was that I should press it, to extract all the juice. Not having a cider press handy, nor even the likelihood of borrowing one, I had to rely on my ingenuity again. So I tried putting it in a cloth (well....pillowcase, actually) and using my trusty rolling pin. Useless, of course! Next came sandwiching said pillowcase of pulp between two bread boards in the washing up bowl, and jumping on it, standing on it, sitting on it (I was getting pretty tired by now) but all I had was a tiny dribble of juice. Still, a slight improvement....If only I could get more pressure......:idea:

The Black & Decker Workmate in the garage:!: Of course! Why didn't I think of that before? Got it out, and summoned hubby to assist me. I held the sandwich of breadboards and pulp pillow between the two halves of the Workmate top, while he turned the handles till we had obtained a vice-like pressure on our pulp sarnie. Slowly...Oh...Soooo...Slowly... the juice dripped into the waiting bowl, and patiently we waited, and tightened the handles of our vice, and waited, and tightened, and...

Eventually we ended up with about half a gallon of juice, which we duly fermented and bottled, and a few months later we drank it. It was quite nice actually, but we stuck to wine making after that.