We wos 'avin a day by the sea
me kids, me fella, an me...
It started out fine,
we got there about nine
an we picked a good spot
in the shade of a rock
jus' clear of the 'igh wa'er line.
First orf we went for a swim...
the tide wos very near in
the wa'er wos nice
so I went in twice,
then we played wiv a ball
an a Frisbee an all,
which warmed us all up in a trice!
Me youngest 'e sat near the rocks
puttin' sand in 'is big bruvver's socks
I giv 'im a slap
an' said "Stop doin' that!"
so 'e 'ad a right paddy
an screamed for 'is daddy...
that kid is a spoilt little brat!
Then the other one started!
'E giggled an farted
then filled up 'is bucket,
an got ready to chuck it
all over 'is sister...
fank goodness, 'e missed 'er,
she'd never 'ave 'ad time to duck it!
Well me fella 'ad seen wot 'e done
so 'e give 'im a clout on the bum
an said "Don't yer dare scream
or yer'll get no ice-cream.
I ain't tellin' yer twice
so shuddup an play nice
an f*cking stop makin' a scene!"
It all quietened down after that
so I 'ad a nice little nap.
When I woke up again
it wos spittin' with rain.
The kids looked all dejected,
an I rarver suspected
They wos soon gonna start to complain.
I reckoned that it would be best
if we all 'urried up an got dressed
cos it looked like the grey
'ad set in for the day
so I said "Right that's it
I've 'ad enough of this shit...
We're going back 'ome right away."
Well the kids wos all cryin'
an me fella was sighin',
an it started to pour
as we all left the shore.
...I'm not one to create
but I'm tellin yer straight
I ain't going there any more!
This is my entry for La Spices poetry competition ( HERE )
